The Institute BulletinSaturday, September 04, 2004
Putin: Siege force not planned
Russian school siege jolts world leaders
Why did Russia fail to resist terrorism threat?
It's very evident, at least to me, that whatever oppression the Chechns live under could not have inspired such a cowardly attack on innocents. Clearly this is an action inspired and directed from outside forces, like al-Qaeda, to further their perverted 'crusade' against the civilized world. Such large-scale terrorist attacks are designed to overwhelm the world's anti-terrorist units that are simply not designed to deal with a group larger than perhaps a dozen. Dare I say even a company-sized version of Rainbow Six or Delta Force would have trouble grasping such a large cell.
'Weird Al' Yankovic attacked by green moths
It's nice to know that Al still has some sort of work, though I have to admit this story makes no sense.
Miss Universe Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction
Miss Universe hits the skids [marks]! Normally I would post this but Councilman Gom, with more than a little editorial input from his assistant Vlad, spend a bit of effort on a commentary. And so I give you: Gombeggar's The Universal Stink of Pussy
*gom*"See now for wearing panties during this incident...I think her Miss Universe crown should be revoked...not in the sense of the James Bond film, License Revoked, which shoulda been 'License to Kill' as it was originally...or the whole 'Revenge of the Jedi' thing either! I just think that a stinky female that we elect the best of her half of OUR species shouldn't be wearing underwear and showing off her butt cleavage! The whole incident should have been a party! Missed opportunities. If she's so great she should have to share it both visually and in matters of brothel intercourse, and of course if she's that special she ought not ot be stinky and need to wear panties to hide the female stink anyway!"
--Gombeggar
Thanx Gom ? Vlad
Nuu book by Mike Emil- 'Love, Sex, and Empty Pockets'
Bill Clinton awaits heart surgery next week
It was really amusing that all the news shows ran long video montages of Clinton's gluttony, his only positive trait.
*gom* "It seems Phil Hartman's impersonation of Clinton at McDonald's was a little TOO close to the truth!"
Thanx Gom
Florida tourism grinds to a halt
No no no! This is all wrong! It should go sumthin' like this: Hurricane Season in Florida- 'come on down and loot something!' Just refocus on Disaster Tourism, and a hurricane inspired spike in prostitution among the homeless and needy.
Bird flu spread by cats investigated
Yet another reason to avoid the swamp-like Safari del Rancho del Gato de la Kapes!
$5 million trooper misconduct settlement
So, Freeland saves $7.5 million or so?
Priest jailed over child porn
So, it's 1 month for every 666 images, eh?
Vegas landlord to stand trial on child porn charges
Yeah, he was monitoring their waste of water, that's the ticket!
Flasher targets girls on avenues
I would just like to say that regrettably I have not been near the San Fransisco area.
Sexist no-sex signs replaced in Bangkok
Well perhaps if the city would provide alternative places for youths to have sex or encourage motels to charge by the quarter-hour the transit system wouldn't be so sticky!
Man says antique condoms are 'huge'
I smell an auction!
German caught having sex with doll
First off I am offended that authorities are so insensitive and prejudicial in calling his date a 'doll', that de-humanizing. Secondly I cannot vouch that Chris hasn't visited Berlin or if his other dates are jealous.
Man pleads guilty to sex with infant in Internet case
Since he spared the community the cost by pleading guilty I think it is only just that he be spared the cost of imprisonment and be directly buried alive!
USA and Russia dominate on arms market, despite delivery cuts
Making the world a safer place for conventional warfare. The figures have always been skewed since so much of US exports are highly technological in nature and not simple munitions and firearms.
Russia to resume serial production of its famous air-giant "Ruslan"
Great nuus for Brant! The Antonov is back, don't be the only kid on your block not to own a predecessor to the An-224! Some things you might do with your new Russian cargo behemoth: fly all your Spetsnaz buddies around, crusin' all the fat chicks you can imagine, airdrop 120 tons of onions to Sudan for humanitarian relief, fly that reclusive fatman's Cajun ass up from New Orleans, and frequent trips to the liquor store will become a thing of the past! Thank you Aviastar-SP for the official cargo aircraft of The Institute [after the C-130]. (note to self- earmark 80 mil for Bone's 124)
US Plans Take-Away Nuclear Power Plants
Ooooo! Aaahhhh! *singing* Little pink SSTARs for you and me. Just don't let Kyle buy any!
Probable Discovery Of A New, Supersolid, Phase Of Matter
So... Councilman Oluka has achieved "nonclassical rotational inertia", which makes it difficult for him to rotate with mechanical aid. Hey, don't blame me, he's the dense guy with helium-4 for blood!
Researchers Spin Carbon Nanotubes Into Usable Fibers
Rice Refining Production Of Pure Nanotube Fibers
Bring on the carbon nanotube lingerie! Can you say bulletproof panties?! Better living thru science, an Institute motto.
White House stresses global adherence to nuclear safeguards
Pudding proof that a DPRK or Iranian test will cause the atomic dominos to fall and we can kiss the global nuclear control regime goodbye!
Cannibal signs over media rights
Fifteen minutes of blues! Does he get early release if they want a sequel?
*gom as Finch* "Nuu...you can do anything you want with my life story as long as you feed me! That arm looks kinda tasty! Doy!"
posted by raymond 10:13
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