The Institute BulletinThursday, June 17, 2010
Big Bald Finch
A Parody by Doyna Yar of Big Bad John by Jimmy Dean as covered by Johnny Cash Inspired by the epiphany notion upon Dean’s passing of Finch’s country music obsession as a connection to Jimmy Dean’s sausage. No, I do not drink enough.
Big Finch
Big Finch
Every morning at the school, you could see him arrive.
He stood 6 foot 6, weighed 345.
Kind of broad at the belly, bald as a cue.
And everybody watched their hands when he’d chew Big Finch.
Big Finch
Big Finch
Big Bald Finch
Big Finch
Nobody seemed to know why Finch carried a comb
He just flutter about town denying his dome.
He didn't say much, ‘cept doy and NARR!
And if you spoke at all, he’d sit in your car Big Finch.
Somebody said he came from Rock Glen,
Rumor he had some hair and was thin back then.
Big bones, bald genes, and fast food made him expand,
sent that Chris Harmon fella to McDonaldland.
Big Finch
Big Finch
Big Bald Finch
Big Finch
Then came the day in the school lunchroom of crime,
when ol’ Betty cracked and kids started crying.
Minors were praying, and hearts beat fast
and everybody thought they had eaten their last
’cept Finch.
Through the din and the joke of this state made hell,
walked a giant of a man that the minors knew well.
Grabbed a sausage biscuit and gave out with a ‘Nuu!’,
and like a leafless oak tree he just stood and chewed, Big Finch
Big Finch
Big Finch
Big Bald Finch
Big Finch
And with all of his strength, he gave a mighty shove.
Then as Corcoran fell down, the bald one’s beloved!
And 200 kids scrambled from that evil witch
now there’s one left down there with the bitch, Big Finch.
With fists and outrage, they started back down,
then came that rumble way down in the ground.
And as smoke and gas belched out of that school,
everybody knew it was the end of the fool, Big Finch.
Big Finch
Big Finch
Big Bald Finch
Big Finch
Now they never re-opened that worthless hole,
They eventually sold it to Citterio’s.
These few words are scrawled on its wall,
'From the bottom of this Hell, comes one fat ‘n tall, ‘Bone Rulz!’
Big Finch
Big Finch
Big Bald Finch
Big Finch.
posted by raymond 02:52
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